It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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