As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
