I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize