New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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