Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize