goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
