I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
