i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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