thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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