Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
