I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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