"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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