he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
