I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
love makes seman taste better
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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