Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
