Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize