it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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