its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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