oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
