Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
