And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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