Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
