I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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