There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
