We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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