someone threw a dead crab at me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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