Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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