We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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