Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
