there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
