Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize