So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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