I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
