Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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