you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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