Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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