Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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