He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
