ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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