the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
