It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
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I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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