He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
