Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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