if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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