remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat