I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
stfu you slept on the patio!?!