singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n