Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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