Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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