If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
