I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
