Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
