just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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