the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
