I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize