There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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