Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
