if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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