Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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