...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
