It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
